Chronicles of my Labour - 8.30pm, 9 December 2008

After returning from the doc's appointment, I went up to my room to rest and shower. The weight pressing against my pubic muscle was getting increasingly uncomfortable, often times, it is so painful that it rendered me unfit to walk for long distance.

8.30pm: Was talking to my MIL, when I felt a slight contraction, almost like a period cramp but didn't gave it much thought, presuming it was normal. Then the cramps persisted and gradually became constant that it made me felt uncomfortable, even in sitting position. I was eating jackfruit and was chatting with MIL (don't recall what we spoke about) and eventually decided that I needed to get upstairs to my room to rest. Still, it didn't appear to me as a contraction.

9.30pm: I was lying in bed, surfing the net when the cramps became more frequent and increasingly uncomfortable. It felt like a nagging menstrual cramp but a little bit more severe. The pain became a pattern and was mild (if it was a contraction, I was imagining it to be 10 times more severe but this pain was too mild to be considered a contraction or so I thought). Still, I wasn't alarmed.


10.30pm: By this time, I was getting highly uncomfortable as the cramps got frequent and I couldn't lie on my side for long. Hubby was still in the office, fixing the server problem.

11.30pm: I went to take a pee and usually after every pee, I'll dab the 'southern hemisphere' with tissue before pulling up my panties. Lo and behold, there was a light pinkish blood spot on the tissue. Then I remembered what Doc Siti told us this evening but decided against it because usually after the VE, I don't get blood stains and this was the only exception. So I decided to dabbed my 'southern hemisphere' again just to be certain and much to my surprise or rather shock; the blood was thicker and mucuosy. Unsure, I repeated the same and there was more blood. Called hubby and told him my 'discovery'. He was calm and asked me to not to worry as he'll be home soon but I was getting a little bit panicky, terrified of labour and the whole delivery thingy. My sis, Jocelynn, text to ask "when is ping pong coming out?" and I told her I might be in labour and from then on, she continued to text and call to find out about my progress.


11.45pm: Instinctively, I called my girlfriend who is a doctor in Malacca GH and asked her if it is a sign that I should get to the hospital soon. She said it could probably be a 'show'. She enquired if I have placenta praevia and I said no. To play it safe, she suggested that I should get to the hospital to get it check. Called hubby again to tell him what she said and he said he will come home asap but I told him to take his time as I don't see the urgency yet. Meanwhile, I changed into my maternity outfit, a sleeveless grey floral dress from Blook and paired it with a Zara's quarter sleeve cardigan. Waited for hubby downstairs and told MIL what happened. It was comforting talking to her.

12.30am: Hubby was home. He hasn't taken his dinner and was feeling unwell. Told him to eat first and shower before we leave for the hospital. I didn't have the appetite when the cramps came so I did not have my dinner. The baby's bag and mine as well was packed a month back, waiting for this impending moment of fear, anxiety and excitement.

12.50am: We left for SJMC and arrived at 1.10am. Hubby dropped me off at the entrance and I waited for him at the lobby while he looked for a parking lot. The concierge asked if we needed a wheel chair and I told him no as I'm still able to walk on my own. We took the lift to Level 4: Labour Room/Antenatal. At the spurr of the moment, I suddenly forgot which lift to take (learnt them in our antenatal classes) but hubby was more composed and remembered everything. He was far better than me in terms of memory.

1.30am: We arrived at Labour Room Suite 5 and I was asked to remove my bra and panties and changed into the hospital robe: a blue, maroon checkered gown with tie backs on the back. The attending nurse, a Chinese lady in specs (probably in her mid 20s), came in and got the stuff ready: contraction and baby's heart beat monitor called a cardiotography. After I've changed and got settled in my 'suite bed', a bottle diuretics was inserted into my anus to get me to empty my bowel. It feels strange and uncomfortable having something sharp going up your ass. The word 'uncomfortable' will be overly used by the time this post is completed. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was made to lie for 5 minutes so the medicine could work. Almost instantaneously after which the window period was up, I felt the urge to poop. I've been having bad constipation for the past weeks and being able to go poo poo so easily is a great relieve. I frequented the toilet 3 times before Doc Siti came in to check on me.

2.00am: A continuous cardiotography was straped to my waist to monitor the contraction and fetal heart rate. Doc Siti came in to see how I was doing. Told her I bled and she did a VE to determine if I was in labour. She lubricated my vagina with a white cream (don't remember the name of the cream but it's not KY jell) and the verdict was: my cervix had dilated to 2 cm and confirmed that I'm in "early labour". After the VE, my vagina itched pretty bad and it was very uncomfortable. I was feeling irritable by then and told the nurse. She said I was probably allergic to it and told me to remind them to use KY jell on the next VE.

3.00am: The contraction got stronger and constant. I was feeling the pain now but it is still manageable. The attending nurse came in and check on the tracings. The duration, strength and interval are recorded every 30 minutes in the early first stage, every 15 minutes in the late first stage and every 10 minutes in the second stage. Every 30 minutes she will ask me to lie on my back while she strap the CTG on and measure the baby's heart rate and contractions. My contractions were inconsistent, like 2-3 minutes once or 4 minutes once and gets very painful with time. Lying on the side helps to minimize pain and I hate it whenever the nurse comes in to fix the CTG. Each time she comes in, she'll asked if I needed the injection to elevetae the pain and I said NO. She said that the injection will reduce the pain and hasten the dilation. I've always hated injection so I was adamant to go without it.


4.00am: This time the pain grew stronger and longer. I squirmed, squeal and held hubby's hand tightly every time the contraction wave hits me. It was unbearable now. I could hardly take the pain and I've only dilated to 2.5cm or 3cm only. It was too slow and the pain was so bad that I curled up like a prawn and grabed the bedside railing as if it could numb the pain. It is at this point of time that I could understand what labour pain is like. Your uterus contracts and you can feel your stomach harden whenever the contraction comes. The pain can last for a minute and then go away for like 2 minutes and repeats itself over and over again until you are fully dilated. Every passing moment is hell. Hubby encouraged me to excercise the breathing techniques learnt from our prenatal classes. I've tried doing the "breath in and exhale in 3 stages;fooh, foooh, fooooh" but it didn't really work when the pain got worse. This was when I had enough of the pain and decided to go with pethidine. The nurse had this look of "See, I told you to use the injection but you don't want" on her face. Anyway, the Malay nurse was sweet and she told me that with pethidine, the dilation will be quicker. When she injected pethidine into my right buttock, I could almost feel a stream of 'fire' flowing into my skin. It was very painful but would rather have this than the contraction pain. Baby's heart beat was 180 - 198 but nurse said it is normal.

5.00am: With a dose of pethidine, the pain was slightly reduced albeit not much of a relief though. I went through with the pain and manage to catch a brief nap every now and then. I was equally worried about hubby cos he wasn't feeling well, now coupled with the lack of sleep he must be feeling exhausted. Caught glimpses of him when he napped just to see if he was ok. I, on the other hand, was not bothered with was aired over on ASTRO's Star World channel as the contraction got stronger and even longer and shorter intervals, probably at a frequency of one in every 1 1/2 / 2 minutes. The cervix is only 3 cm dilated, still a long way to go.

8.30am: Doc Siti came to visit. Checked and discovered that I was only 3 1/2 cm dilated. It was then she decided to burst my water bag. Just the thought of it frightened me. She had this stainless steel scissors in her hands and I was eyeing it to see where it was headed. At the same time I asked her how did she plan to break the bag and rememberedt. her demonstrating how the scissors was twitched. The next thing was I could feel was warm water flowing out into a recyclable container placed under my bottom and the nurse hurridly removed it when everthing was out.

8.45am: The pain was excruciating. Contractions was stronger, longer and came at shorter intervals. I was holding back tears and felt like kicking or punching anything within reach. It was far worse than I had anticipated. Nothing beats the pain of labour and strangely, I couldn't find the exact words to describe this pain. All I can say is that the pain radiates from the front of the stomach to the back and lying on my back doesn't help. Hubby felt helpless as there was nothing he could do to minimize the pain.

12 noon: My cervix had only dilated to a mere 4 cm wide. Much too slow. I'm getting very exhausted and the pain is almost unbearable. The contraction came every 1 to 2 minutes and each lasted for a minute. An Indian nurse came in to inquired if I wanted an epidural. To which I immediately said yes and hubby encouraged me to take the epidural. The hell with needles, all I want is a pain relief. I couldn't take it any longer.

12.15pm: They called in the pain relief surg. Dr Zuraina Zain to perform the spine-epidural injection on me and before she begin, she informed me of the consequences and side effects of the procedure. For goodness sake, I'm in pain!! How could I possibly be in a proper state of mind to reject pain relief? It took me a while to decide when she said "affect certain nerves in one in 20,000 women" but what the heck, I need it NOW. The pain kept coming and I hastily said yes and signed the consent form. In the midst of a contraction, I was told to keep still so she can administer the needle on my back. Can you imagine trying to hold still when you're in pain? I had to tell them to be fast cos the next contraction is about to hit if they took their own sweet time. I wouldn't be able to hold still when another wave hits. Realising this was impossible, two nurses had to hold me down while the doc inserted the needle into my spine.

1pm: The epidural has already kicked in and I could feel both my legs numb. The left leg was so numb I could barely lift them and I was feeling very woozy, sleepy and most of all, PAIN FREE. Hubby checked on the CTG and informed when each wave of contraction came. It was very frequent and I was glad I had epidural. Hubby told me that my parents and his mom was waiting outside the labour ward but I was too tired and slept through the pain.

2pm: My cervix dilated to 7cm and the nurse said it could be anytime soon. This was faster than I thought. Hubby was outside with our parents and I was getting anxious as I wanted him to stay with me throughout the delivery process.

2pm to 4pm: The nurse inserted a catheter to drain urine from my bladder. I was on epidural but yet I kept asking the nurse if it was going to hurt each time she affixed the catheter. And no, I did not feel pain at all, except a sensation of the tube going into my down south.

4pm: The Indian nurse came in again to do a VE on me and informed that I've dilated to 10 cm. Hubby was elated. I was scared and heavily sedated. The nurse said she will alert Doc Siti while we waited for the moment to arrive. There was a certain commotion going on when all the other nurses were alerted about my impending delivery. All the nurses were busy preparing the equipments needed for the delivery. They were like busy bee. I was terrified when I was made to spread my legs and seeing the bucket being placed right below my legs. I remembered being shaved down south but not sure when it was done.

4.15pm: Doc Siti came in and asked if the nurses if they have stopped the epidural. I heard one of them giving her the affirmative. She then put on a yellow pair of plastic boots (it resembles that of Phua Chu Kang's) and draped herself with a sheath of plastic butcher-like appron. No more epidural? Crazy ar? I was petrified now. The nurses assured me that I won't feel the pain cos the epidural will still work. By now, Doc Siti was seated directly in front of me with my legs wide spread. I couldn't make out what she was doing but she was busy with some apparatus and doing something to my down south. The same Indian nurse who checked my cervix (and of whom I don't reckon qualify as a midwife) has been encouraging me to push (during contraction) even before the doc arrived and recalled hearing her tell another Indian nurse that there is "No Maternal Effort" and she told the same to the doc. That made me unhappy and I was thinking, what do you mean "No Maternal Effort"? Here I was pushing with all my might and the nurse had the cheek to say I was not pushing. The nurse said that she will get me to push until baby's head is visible (about the size of a 50 cents coin), then only will she get the doc to come in.

All the techniques I've learnt in the pre-natal class was carefully adopted but I was beginning to feel like it doesn't really apply here. In between pushes, the nurses were saying: "Very good, can see the head already. Push harder, another time" ..."Push some more, come on, come on", ..."Don't stop, you're sucking the baby's head back".."Push harder, feel the contraction and push harder"..."Now, stop pushing. Wait for the contraction. Now, push."

I was pushing all I can (like want to go pang sai) and at the same time I was afraid I poop there. Still, baby's head is not showing. Seeing little progress, the nurse asked if I'd like the vacuum and I told her YES. So, when the doc was seated, the Indian nurse told doc that there was no maternal effort and that I would like to have my baby vacuumed out. I think this was the time the doc did the episiotomy but I didn't feel her cut so that was one good sign. The doc stressed that I continue pushing and when she realized it was getting no where, she said "Joanne, if you're not pushing hard enough, we'll have to do a c-sect". C-SECT?? I was scared at the thought of having my stomach cut open. After all the trouble I've been through for the past 19 hours and she's going to cut me open? No way!

MY BABY HAS ARRIVED!

So, with that thought in me, I gave it all I have even if it meant pooping there. The next thing I know, the baby's head was out and next came the body. He was very pale, white and lifeless. The doc placed my baby over my stomach and asked if I'd like to hold him. I told her no, not yet cos I was feeling really exhausted. Then, she proceeded to ask hubby if he wanted to cut his umbilical cord but he said no.

RESUCITATION ROOM

When the umbilical cord was cut, they immediately took the baby out. Doc said that the room is too crowded for them to do their work so they had to take my boy out to another room to do the necessary. Everyone including the doc, my hubby and other attending nurses followed the nurse who was carrying my baby, into the "Resucitation Room". Hubby sensed something was not right and knew that when the doc said "take the baby out", it was a cue for emergency action. I, on the other hand, was too tired to realize what was going on and waited, with my legs still wide spread.

TAGGING OF BABY AND MOMMY

The baby was brought back to the labour room and was shown to me. They performed the tagging of the baby in front of us. We have to ascertain that the number on the tag for baby and mommy were identical before they tag it on us. Two tags were tagged on the baby's ankle and one was tagged to my wrist.

EPISIOTOMY

The doc returned after a while and asked the nurses "What time did you give her the pethidine?" but I did not hear the reply. The next thing I remembered is I was given the gas mask and was told to use it when I feel pain. And this was when the doc began her 'tailoring work' on my down south. I could practically feel her poke through my flesh and tightening every stitch as she went along and I was using the gas profusely, not even sure if I was using it correctly because the mask don't work at all. I repeat "The mask don't work and so is the epi!" I was lifting my butt at every tightening and the doc kept saying "Don't lift your bottom. Hold it down" and she continued to sew and tighten. It was the second most painful experience after labour. I was mortified and wondering when it's ever going to end. And you know what? Needles don't scare me any more, at least for now.

ALL STITCHED UP

By the time the doc is done with the suturing, it was already 5.30pm. The nurse cleaned my bottom and put on the sanitary pad for me. They gave me a net-like disposable underwear to wear and it was so uncomfortable. I was so tired and in pain. Hubby followed the baby to the nursery and our parents saw him. After the baby has been placed in the nursery, hubby came back to accompany me while we waited for the room to be ready. I was told they do not have a single executive room because it's all taken up and we're no. 6 on the waiting list. At 7.30pm, I was taken to a two-bedded room on the 3rd floor (room 373), of which my bed is located directly near the toilet and entrance. Not very private but no choice. My neigbhour snores at night and I couldn't really sleep. Hubby could not stay the night because it was a women's ward. He left for home at 10.30pm. My parents and MIL went home at 9.30pm. Apparently mum cooked me some ginger chicken dish and red dates drink this morning but did not anticipate my labour to be so long. Such a waste!

After hubby left, our baby's paedetrician Dr Khoo Phaik Choo paid me a visit to inform me of baby's condition. She said that baby is doing fine but will be under observation and would have to stay an extra day. Last month, a friend's 2 month-old baby was admitted for a heart surgery to correct an anomalous pulmonary venus; a heart condition in newborn. This condition, if not detected early, could cause Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).Their paed. did not do a thorough check on our friend's son when he was born so his condition was only detected much later. Out of sheer concern and paranoia, I asked the paed if she checked his heart and lungs and she gave me the affirmative. For the time being baby will be at the nursery until he is given the clearance by his paed. to be sent to mommy for breastfeeding. I did not sleep well during the night as I could hear my neighbour snorring away and the constant visit by the nurses did not help either.

Day 2: 11 December 2008

It's a public holiday today, the birthday of Sultan of Selangor. Hubby came at 8 am, with 2 half boiled eggs (with the soya sauce & pepper), essence of chicken and all my essential items. So nice of him.

37 weeks 2 days - Doc's appointment on 9 Dec 2008

Went to see my Ob-Gy at 4pm on a fine Tuesday evening (9 Dec 2008). This time I tipped the scale at 62.3kg, that translates into a total of 15.3kg weight gained (my pre-pregnancy weight was 47kg) and that is a whopping figure. Boy, how am I going to loose that excess fat? I'm getting really really worried.

Anyway, an interesting fact I've read from the Obstetrics and the Newborn by Beisher, Mackay & Colditz : a normal maternal weight gain should be between 11kg and 15kg /(23 - 35lb). Based on a 13kg weight gain, the composition of the weight gained is distributed accordingly:

fetus gains weight rapidly from 30 - 40 weeks (1,500g to 3,650g),
placental weight (600g),
blood volume (1,800mL),
extracellular fluid volume (3,300mL),
amniotic fluid volume (900mL),
enlargement of breasts (700g),
uterine growth (1,000g), and
fat deposition (1,050g)

Today, we waited much more longer than usual for our turn to see the doc. According to the nurse, she has so many patients today (like, since when she doesn't?) due to the public holiday on 11 Dec 2008, the Sultan of Selangor's birthday. Doc Siti did the usual examination on my cervix opening and affirmed that my cervix has dilated to 1.5cm, only an extra opening of 0.5cm (I was expecting at least 2.5cm). She adviced me to walk more and not to be alarmed if if there is blood spots when I get home, "it is because of the VE". Told her I had constipation problem for the past few weeks so she prescribed Dulcolax, to be inserted via anus.

By the time we're done it was already 7pm and poor hubby have to returned to the office to fix some problems with the company's server. He is feeling a little under the weather, down with a cold and nagging headache. We reached home at 7.30pm and he left immediately after dropping me off.


By the time we're done

Barely 36 weeks and I'm already dilated

Lately I've been experiencing cramps (similar to period cramp) in my lower abdomen as well as the occasional strong and sharp uterine contractions. From what I've read, it is not uncommon to feel this in late pregnancy. Just last Saturday, when I was out shopping with my parents in One Utama, I couldn't help but noticed that my bump has started to drop (commonly known as lightening/engagement) and found it extremely difficult to walk long due to the pain on my pelvic muscle. Never knew that I'd one day consider the sight of benches in shopping malls a sheer bliss. In the course of my two hours there, I was pinning so much to sit so my back, heels and thighs won't ache like hell. I kept repeating to mum "I've got no more stamina to walk anymore" and we ended up in Delicious cafe for a meal instead, not so much for the food to be precise but rather to rest my heavy bum bum and incredibly huge bump.

Saw my ob-gy on Tuesday evening and as usual, we waited for like 2 hours to see her, performed the usual protocol of taking my urine test and stepping on the scale. This time I tipped the scale at 60.7kg, not too bad, 300g in two weeks but my urine test remained at 2 plusses/2 bar, to which one of the nurses remarked as high. The vaginal swab culture test came back and I was told that there was infection (heavy) but the bacteria does not pose any danger to me or the baby. The remedy: an antibiotic tablet,white in colour and about an inch long, to be inserted into the vagina (with an applicator) before bed time.

For my personal benefit and for the benefit of those who don't know the seriousness of getting your vaginal swab for bacteria in your 34 weeks of gestation: There is this certain bacteria called the Group B beta-haemolytic streptococcus (GBS) which can be very fatal to your newborn. The GBS has been identified to be the number one cause of life threathening infections in newborn and is usually found in your down south genitilia, vagina. Majority of the GBS infections are acquired during childbirth when the newborn comes into contact with the bacteria via the mother's birth canal and bare in mind that c-sect delivery does not eliminate an infected mother from transmitting GBS to her newborn. This lethal bacteria has resulted in the death of 2000 infants yearly while leaving others mentally or physically handicapped. (Information is extracted from www.childbirth.org/article/GBS.html). Pretty alarming isn't it? Therefore treatment is eminent before and during labour to prevent your newborn from contracting it.

My ob-gy did an ultrasound to measure the baby's growth from crown to rump and also showed us the blood flow in his umbilical cord (the reading is 1.29 and it is a healthy level but said it could go up to 1.8). He has put on 1 kg in 5 weeks and now weight in at 2.9kg. A physical check on my bump also confirmed that my baby's head has already engaged. Engaged here means when the fetus descends into the pelvic cavity during the last few weeks of prenancy.

The doc also did a VE (vaginal examination) to determine if my cervix had dilated. It was an extremely uncomfortable experienc and a little painful when she inserted her fingers into my vagina. Lo and behold, my cervix has dilated to about 1 finger wide or 1 cm wide. Doc said baby's weight is good and he's big enough to come out so I can expect to go into labour anytime this week onwards. Naturally I was shocked cause I wasn't expecting it this soon but hubby was pleasantly pleased with the news. Doc said if I walk a lot, it will expedite the labour so I'm now contemplating on whether should I walk more or less?

Madagascar 2 and My Special Moments

Hubby and I went to watch Madagascar 2 after work. During the commercials, our little hero was doing a bit of 'kick boxing' and 'stretching' inside me so I instinctively placed hubby's hand on my bump for him to feel his son's active antics. Our litttle boy was constantly 'stretching', occasionally giving me a jolt or two in between movie. Hubby chuckles each time he kicks and it always pleases me to have these tender moments with both of them.

I've realized that loud noises, especially at the movies or while listening to the radio in the car, tends to act as a catalyst for his constant movements which can last throughout the entire show. These movements are sheer pleasure as well as assurance that he is doing fine. The midwife at our pre-natal class advice us to keep tab on the number of times the baby kicks, a minimum of 10 movements a day must be observed, this does not include hiccups (constant tapping on the same spot). Anyway, he's been assuring mommy so far and thank God for him.

Madagascar 2 was pretty alright, nothing spectacular though except for its catchy chorus that goes like this: "I like to move it, move it...I like to move it, move it....MOVE IT! We were one of the only few couples at the theatre, surrounded by hordes of children so you can pretty much imagine how that makes us feel or at least how it makes me feel....OLD.

Anyway, I'm not going to dwell further about the movie here as in my point of view, it serves no purpose. You know how little gestures can warm the heart, simple things like watching out for the other person while she take each step down the stairs, holding your spouse's hands at the cinema or cleaning her utensils before she uses it. Well, these are little things hubby did for me that makes me feel warm, secured and most of all loved. He holds my hand to cross me over to the other side of the road, remind me to watch my steps each time I take the stairs, shelters me from the rain by placing his hand over my head, and and the list goes on. I feel so blessed for having him in my life; not only as a husband but a best friend and I pray that our son will be just like him. The Lord is always watching over me and he never fail me although I have failed him countless of times in my life. It's a sad reality but then again, who says reality is sweet?

I took extra note of these gestures tonight because I was feeling a little depressed for the past couple of days over the crossroads I'm at. There's so many things playing over in my head that boggled me to the point I'm lost. I'm still looking for answers and directions. Could this be pre-natal blues?

One comfort I can find is knowing this promise: God says I know what I'm planning for you...I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Everything happens for a reason and that God does not put us through trials we cannot handle.

I'm 33++ weeks

Had my routine check-up with Doc last evening. We arrived at the hospital at 4pm, registered (I was the tenth patient), stepped on the weighing scale and oh boy, i tipped the scale at 60.4kg. To date, I've put on a total of 13.4kg at 33 going on 34 weeks. That is a whole lot of pounds I've gained over the past 8 months and it's frightening, seriously.

Took the urine test, passed the bottle and a slip to the lab guy, waited for about 3 minutes and he passed the slip with the result back to me. Checked the slip and noticed he scribbled "++" or 2 pluses on the column that reads "sugar" and "neg" under the "protein" column. Puzzled by the "++", I inquired the lab guy what it meant and he cooly replied "it's 2 pluses. Your doc will explain". And I was like "Duhh, of course i know it reads as 2 pluses and that the doc will explain but I wanted to know it firsthand if it spells danger."

As usual we were kept waiting but was gratified to be able to finish one interesting war movie starring Owen Wilson on the Star Movie channel. We only got to see the doc at 5.30-ish pm, as predicted by hubby. While waiting in her consultation room, we took the liberty of scanning all the photographs nicely arranged behind her table. Hubby noted that all her photographs consisted of pics taken with patients in the labour room and just when I was about to touch one of the frames, she appeared from the other room. She checked my file, saw my urine test result and immediately said "I'll have to stress you a little". Hubby asked what does the result meant and she said I might be "pre-diabetic". She suggested that I go for the GTT test which required me to fast and I quickly interjected by saying "I've done that test a couple of months back". So, she checked my file again and affirmed that I've done the test before, said that the result was ok and I'm not diabetic and therefore, don't have to repeat the test. With that, we proceeded to the next room.

This time round, she did not scan my bump, only used the doppler to listen to the baby's heartbeat. His heartbeat is fine. Then, she examined my bump and decided that the baby's head is already down but hasn't engaged. The next thing she did mortified the life out of me, ok maybe mortified is too strong a word but it really did scare me. I was asked to remove my panties, spread my legs and bend my knees. She said "I'm going to take a swab of your vaginal discharge to test for dangerous bacteria" and before i could ask her any further, something cold and hard was inserted into my vagina cavity. Next, I could feel her fingers (or at least that's what I thought it is) going inside me. When she was done, she said "Your cervix is still very tight and we will check that again in a couple of weeks time". That was really a strange and scary experience. I was mentally not prepared for that.

Oh, and one embarassing episode happened while we're in the examination room. My panties dropped into the crevice between the bed and the wall. So shy cos the nurses had to be called in to help fish it out and since the gap was too narrow, hubby and the nurse had to drag the bed. Hubby fished out my black panties from among a pile of filthy tissues and papers. That's not it. Since the panties has already been exposed to all the filth behind the bed, I was advised against wearing it. I was like "What?". Yeah, I went home without wearing my panties. What an experience. My next follow-up visit is in 2 weeks time.

Mum's The Best

Last night hubby and I went home to collect some baby stuff mom bought for our junior. We were shocked at the amount of things mom got for our son: newborn overalls (mostly from Baby GAP/Pumpkin Patch/Mothercare), large and small towels, cute tiny pair of socks and mittens, bathtub and baby's travelling bag from Mothercare, Avent cotton wipes, Huggies newborn diapers, a couple of Avent feeding bottles, milk powder container from Babisil, pacifiers, nappies, nappy liner, a French-made baby cream, baby changing mat and latex pillow. I must say that the bathtub was one of the safest I've seen so far. It's a product from the US, with a built-in adorably cute safety net support, anti-slip mat, a temperature indicator, and a water fetcher. She saved us from the hassle of shopping and being new parents, we are clueless as to what we need for our newborn. Mom, being the expert, having given birth to 5 kids knows what's best for kids.

Speaking of mum, there was an article she sent me a couple of weeks back and I thought I should share it with you here:

"Just a Mom?"

A woman, renewing her driver's license , was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder, 'do you have a job or are you just a ....?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.' 'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.' 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,'just what you do in your field?' Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).

But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.'

Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' And great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates?' I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts ' Associate Research Assistants.'

Don't you feel proud having such a title with such great responsibilities? I believe it is no easy feat being a mom and looking at my mom does make me wonder if I can be as good as her...Life is tough but we have the choice of deciding what sort of life we want and yet at the end of the day, we have no control over it. I'm proud and blessed to have a mom who loves all her children unconditionally, giving her best to us and sacrificing so much so that we can live a better life.

Nonetheless, my dad too, plays an important role in keeping our family together. He loves mom very much, ever faithful and he is a man who has never raised his voice at mom. I've always said that mom is a blessed woman having married a mild tempered, loving man like my father. He can go shopping with her the entire day without complaining!! Now, where do you find such patience??

I've finally reached 32 weeks

It's been a hectic week and I'm not getting enough sleep. Waking up in the middle of the nights is pretty much the norm nowadays, coupled with the ever constant urge to urinate, cramp legs and joint pain in the fingers. My, so much pain a pregnant mother have to go through. It's always a wonder why women have to suffer so much and the XY gender seems to be a blessed lot.

I've been sitting in Starbucks for almost the entire day just to finish my work cos the internet connection at home is down. Somehow, being here gives me the consolation as I'm constantly accompanied by nice, eccentric songs from the 60s, people of all sort: mother and child sharing a plate of cheese cake, a few other wifi users busy typing away or surfing the internet. I've drank enough hot and ice signature chocolate for today and I think the little one inside is overly contented with mummy's over indulgence of choc. And I'm obviously oblivious to the stares of the waiters who must be pondering "how long is she going to sit there?" or "when is she ever going to leave?"

Oh by the way, we have considered another name for our junior; SEAN. Sean will be our second choice since MIL is of the opinion that Matthew has a bad connotation when pronounced in the Cantonese dialect "Mat Tiew". It's an irony how people would turn a nice name into something that sounds so horrid, like the name Paul Chan can be pronounced as "Phor Chan" in Canto, giving it a negative meaning. Anyway, the name Sean is of Irish origin, variant of the Hebrew name John "God is Gracious", from French Jean. Nice name but we're not certain about it yet, not like how we've agreed on the name Matthew.

Hubby and I will be attending our supposedly first pre-natal class since we missed this one earlier in the month and our last class will be towards the end of the month. Gosh, I'll be due very soon. Based on the scan last tuesday, doc said baby is due on the 14th of Dec 2009, 2 weeks sooner that the actual date 25th December 2009. Mummy is 31 weeks pregger and he weight at 1.93kg so doc asked that I be prepared by the middle week of Dec. Baby is putting on healthily and mummy has already tipped the scale by adding a whopping 2.6kg to her weight. The weight and stretch marks is scaring the hell out of me, albeit no signs of those pink lines yet. Not certain how it looks though but hubby said I don't have it and should not worry too much about it. Fill me in on this, please....

I'm still indecisive as to whether I want to have a C-sec or natural birth. Can anyone offer me the pros and cons of both method of delivery?

29th Week and Counting

On the 24th of Sept, we went to see my OBY-GYN cos I have been having this aching pain in the lower part of my abdomen, somewhere around the pubic bone. Went on the scale and realized I had only put on 100 gram (55.9kg) from my last visit which was on the 5th of Sept (55.8kg). Doc exclaimed "What happened?" and said I should be putting on at least 400gms a week and I should be 1.5kg heavier. I was shocked though but relieved I didn't put on too much. During my last visit, Doc asked me to reduce my sugar and carbo intake and so I did but my weight didn't do well in that department. I guess one of the main factor was I wasn't exactly eating enough, was in a sombre mood for the past weeks due to some reasons I cannot divulge in here.

Anyway, had a blast last weekend in Pangkor Laut Resort with hubby and his friends....Chartered a boat at the resort for RM220 per pax and went fishing. Pretty dissapointed cos we failed to catch even a small fish....and I went like "where has all the fishes gone to?"...Sigh...Oh well, the food at the resort was great and anticipated that I would have put on a least a kilo...Lo and behold, I did!....Hubby has been controlling my sugar intake, stopping me from indulging my favourite Ferrerro Rocher and I on the other hand, trying to find ways of getting my hands on one.

Now, back to my growing baby bump....I'm now going into my 29th week of pregnancy and my belly button is finally pushed outward. Still no sign of stretch marks yet and praying hard that I wouldn't have...Noticed that my baby is responding to music pretty well. Each time a music or sound comes on, he'll give me a light jolt on the right hand side of my belly. Everytime he does that, I'm relieved and assured that he's doing well. It's a superb feeling to feel him move and kick inside. I'm sure all you mothers out there can relate to what I feel.

Going fishing again this weekend....Nice! and looking forward to it very much.

Into my 29th Week

I'm going into my 28th week of pregnancy and realized that I've not decided on my baby's name yet. Just this morning as I was reading "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, it dawn on me that I should pray and ask God to help me decide on a good name for my boy. A few names were mentioned in the book; biblical names like Jacob, Joseph, Isaac and Ezekiah. Men who were tested of their faith in God and perservered.

Ironically, i am also going through a rough patch in my life and this very page relates so much to what I'm going through. I was like, why didn't i think about praying for a name? ..Hubby and I agreed on the name Matthew but we're still not too certain about it. Gosh!!...Finding a name is no easy task and talk about Chinese name...Suggestions anyone??